Best of Straight Talk: Building Mental Resilience

This Best of Straight Talk episode excerpt is from Season 7, which debuted on March 20, 2024, and features Dr. Amy Missling.

Hosts Emmery Mehlhoff and Alisha Nord visit with Dr. Missling about stress on the farm and how it can turn from something seasonal to more permanent: chronic stress. 

Dr. Missling is a licensed clinical psychologist who practices in rural Minnesota. She specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders, trauma, and stressor-related conditions. She provides behavioral health services to adults with various life circumstances and occupations, including local farmers and ranchers. 

Outside of her work as a psychologist, she and her husband, Jeffrey Missling, feed cattle and hogs and co-own a meat locker in Devils Lake, N.D.  Marrying into agriculture has given Dr. Missling unique insights about the kinds of stress farmers and ranchers face. 

To take a deeper dive and listen to the entire episode, please click here.

Contact Emmery and Alisha at emmery@ndfb.org

Chapters

• 0:13 Straight Talk With Dr. Amy Missling
• 0:59 Dr. Missling explains her area of expertise, and her background in ag
• 2:18 Understanding the concept of stress in agriculture
• 3:33 Multiple types of stressors on the farm
• 5:24 Family relationships can be a primary stressor
• 7:09 Not all stress is bad, just need an optimal level
• 8:12 Is the word stressed overused? How to know when stress isn't healthy
• 10:33 Emotional, physical, mental and behavioral symptoms of chronic stress
• 14:17 Reaching out for help is hard for farmers and ranchers, so what can they do
• 15:42 Finding patterns, identifying triggers, tracking changes to identify trends
• 16:35 Then be intentional, present and practicing soothing and regulation skills
• 18:06 Non-therapy and therapy options

Transcript

[00:13] Emmery: Welcome to Straight Talk with NDFB. Today I am really excited because Alisha and I are visiting with Dr. Amy Missling. She is Jeff Missling's wife. He is the CEO of Farm Bureau and I am grateful that he decided to share her with us today.

[00:31] She is a therapist who works with behavioral health. So we're going to dive into those subjects today.

[00:38] Dr. Missling, could you just tell us a little bit about yourself and just give our listeners a little bit of background on what you do and who you are.

[00:47] Dr. Missling: Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on your show today. I'm excited to be able to share a bit more about stress and how that pertains to farming and ranching and agricultural industry.

[00:59] So yes, My name is Dr. Amy Missling. I am a licensed clinical psychologist.

[01:04] I've practiced for over 15 years and have provided general mental health services.

[01:11] And in recent years my area of expertise has kind of begun to focus more on the treatment of anxiety disorders, acute and chronic stress related conditions, including trauma and the impacts of trauma in one's life and on the body, the mind and body.

[01:33] It's been a real joy expanding on this area of my practice and I find that it's very relevant to everybody. So it's extremely relatable to all.

[01:45] I do have connections to agriculture like you mentioned. My husband is Jeff Missling. Jeff and I feed some hogs and cattle, we raise alfalfa and we also co own a meat locker in Devil's Lake. So I have personally become a lot more involved in agriculture and the joys and beauty and gift of agriculture in addition to the stressors that come along with the industry.

[02:10] Emmery: So you are uniquely equipped to talk about this as well. Coming from non agriculture into agriculture have a very unique insight. So I guess that kind of dives into our topic here, which is stress in agriculture and like you said, chronic stress and other conditions that come along with that. Can you tell us a little bit about how stress is relevant to the farming and ranching industry?

[02:36] Dr. Missling: When I think about the concept of stress, I think about the nervous system and the impact that our world around us and our circumstances has upon our mind and our body. So interrelated. And so you know, myself now being involved in agriculture and knowing a lot of farmers and ranchers, we know that agriculture comes along with high stress, high demands, you know, threat of loss.

We certainly can talk about the many stressors,but there are so many variables in agriculture that are out of one's control. So we're often responding to many unpredictable circumstances and that has a pretty profound at times impact on how our nervous system reacts. That is why I think it's so important to get the word out there that learning how to manage stress within farming and ranching is important.

[03:33] Emmery: What do you see as those topics, stressors within the agricultural field?

[03:38] Dr. Missling: So really almost anything could be considered a stressor. Right. Because it's, it's something that we perceive as uncontrollable or what we use term threat. But when it comes specifically to agriculture, some common ones that I run into in my practice, my personal life, I know others have reported uncertainty with weather, seasonal variations, tariffs,  commodity pricing.

If you have a breakdown on the farmer, ranch, need to make a repair, but maybe you don't have access to the spare parts or you need to get something done on a time crunch. And that might not happen because of the weather, because of equipment failure. Fear of losing the farm if it's a multi generational operation, which adds that extra pressure.

Losing livestock if there are personal or family health concerns, and that limits the extent to which one is able to be involved in the operation.

And then speaking of personal or family health concerns, a lot of times farms and ranches are family operated. So that means they may have disagreements or conflict, which can certainly create both occupational and personal stress.

A lot of responsibilities, working late into the night to put in crops, which can lead to fatigue, poor sleep.

So these are just, just a few of the many types of stressors that people have reported.

[05:06] Emmery: Oftentimes we say that finances are the primary stressors that people face on their farms and ranches. Just tight years. But recently in our podcast season, Alisha and I have uncovered in talking to, um, many different succession planners, financial planners, et cetera, that one of those primary stressors is exactly what you mentioned, which is family and family relationships. And I had really underestimated how stressful interpersonal things can be, which, I mean, it really makes sense because probably in every other area of life, the thing that causes the most stress could be a dysfunctional relationship. But for some reason I hadn't translated that to the farm and ranch. So I think that's really insightful is, is thinking about how much your relationships or working with family or, you know, even working with a partner can add stress if that's not a functional relationship.

[06:05] Dr. Missling: Absolutely. And even if it is functional, you know, we all manage and deal with stress differently and it has different impacts on us. So depending on how one partner, one spouse is responding to stress and the other one responds, you know, that might escalate conflict. We all handle Conflict differently.

So when we're out on the farm and then we come inside and we're having dinner together and we can't really separate the two. That doesn't give our minds, our bodies, our nervous systems, an opportunity to what we say, regulate or kind of soothe a bit. Between work and home, it's so muddled together in a way. It's hard to have those boundaries and separation.

[06:47] Emmery: I want to talk a little bit about like stress itself. You hear the word and it sounds like a negative thing. But like, so, for example, working out, et cetera. If you stress a muscle, you know, it hurts for a while and then it grows and gets stronger. So does stress always have to be bad or can it sometimes be a good thing?

[07:06] Dr. Missling: Not all stress is bad, actually. We use the term eustress to reflect positive stress because really, stress itself is healthy to be stressed. What it does to our brain and body is it enhances performance. It helps us to focus better, to feel motivated, driven to retain recall information.

But really there's kind of an optimal level of stress that we function best with. And then once it tips the scale and our nervous system gets over overstimulated and we're not quite as regulated, that's when stress can have more difficult impacts on our functioning, our mood and symptoms.

[07:53] Alisha: I feel like growing up, I never really heard the word stress or depression or anything like that. And now I feel like it's a very common word with just asking somebody, how are you? And it's, I'm so stressed out.

Do you think that word is overused today? Or do you think people maybe have that confused with. I don't even know what it would be like another emotion with how they're feeling. Maybe they're anxious, but they're using the word stress. Like you said, there's, there's good and bad. But how, how do you know this is an unhealthy level of stress or this is, this is an okay level of stress and next week it will be better once I get through whatever it may be. How do you kind of know what the difference is and when it becomes not healthy?

[08:45] Dr. Missling: That's a great question. That word, that kind of the term I'm stressed out, right, Or I feel so stressed that is commonly used. And I think the reaction of stress, what happens in our, in our bodies and our brains, is a very natural response that our nervous system is designed to have.

We're designed to face things that might be out of our control or unpredictable, and then our nervous system has its response and the difference between having a response for our nervous system and then this concept of being stressed out is usually when people are at the point of saying, oh, I'm so stressed, or stressed out, it can be an indicator that their nervous system has been activated for longer than is beneficial.

It kind of has tipped the scale from optimal stress levels to higher or more. The duration of time is longer than what it might be designed for. So our stress response is a very natural response meant to be activated temporarily. And then once the stressor subsides, we get back to a regulated level in our nervous system and move on to function.

[9:56] Typically, when someone is at a point of saying, oh, I'm so stressed, they've encountered a variety of uncontrollable situations, circumstances that have made it difficult for their nervous system to rest, to get back to a resting state.

A lot of times, what people will experience when. And this, it can vary. I mean, the, the signs and symptoms of chronic stress could be almost anything, Alisha, honestly. And it is so important to be aware of those signs and symptoms. So I. I break that down into different categories. You can think about it as emotional things that you may begin to notice in yourself.

Physical symptoms, mental symptoms, and behavioral symptoms. Kind of breaking it down or signs or symptoms into how we're functioning differently. If we begin to function differently, behave in ways that aren't very characteristic of us, our thinking starts to change, our emotional tendencies are shifting. That's often a sign that, that this is chronic stress, and I need to do something about it.

[11:09] So when we think about emotional signs and symptoms of chronic stress, again, it could be anything. But some possibilities are maybe feeling more nervous or fearful or anxious. You know, that's kind of a common one that people often identify with stress, but it certainly expands beyond that.

Could be feeling more sad or down, helpless. Another common symptom is being more angry or irritable with loved ones or people that you interact with, or maybe frustrated more easily, feeling guilty more quickly.

And then on the other end of the spectrum is sometimes just feeling shut down or not having interest in things that one usually enjoys, feeling almost numb or disconnected from others. So it can look maybe like an anxiety disorder or depression, as I name some of these symptoms. But actually, it could be chronic stress in that nervous system being overly activated for an extended period of time.

Some physical symptoms might include being dizzy or faint, changing in breath or breathing, increased heart rate.

Other common things that people report are physical pain. So they might start getting more headaches, digestive issues, you know, maybe stomach aches. Or heartburn.

There can be changes in skin, like more skin irritation or mouth sores. And our body, it's just incredible how our body tries to tell us and show us that we need to attend to it and manage that reaction that we're having.

We might get sick more often. That is, that is very common with chronic stress. Appetite often changes, we might be more hungry or less hungry, energy levels often change and then mentally our thinking often shifts. So we might worry more, have racing thoughts, or even struggle remembering things maybe like what is going on, I just can't find the words or I can't remember what I just did. Or we might find those instances happening more often and that could be an indicator, "Okay, I think I'm in a point of high chronic stress."

Another important one to note is having suicidal thinking or self harm thoughts. That can be an impact of chronic stress and then behavioral changes. We might be more impulsive, argue more, begin using substances. I know alcohol is a common substance that people use in a kind of a subconscious way to try regulate that nervous system. It's an attempt to try manage that stress level in our body.

And then sleep changes are quite common as well, having disrupted sleep, troubles, falling asleep, staying asleep, or even self destructive behaviors or reckless behaviors. So kind of as you can hear, it's like a very wide range of changes that people might experience that could indicate chronic stress.

[14:17] Alisha: Thank you for going into detail about that Amy, because as you know, one of the reasons why we wanted to have you on this podcast is because we all know that within the farming and ranching community, reaching out for help is something that is really hard for our members to do. 

So going back to the chronic stress part, if somebody doesn't feel, if they know there's something wrong, they, they know they're not themselves, whether it's one of the symptoms that you just stated and they don't feel comfortable reaching out yet. What are some things that they can do to try to figure out what, what is this chronic stress that is causing A, B, C and D? What are some things that they can do themselves at home to try to figure out what might be causing this in their life?

[15:11] Dr. Missling: One really beneficial or helpful way to get more aware is to talk with loved ones. You know, asking people you trust feel safe with, "What are you noticing?" You know, because if, if we're not seeing it ourselves. Often people that we love have a much clearer lens of what they're seeing.

So asking if they notice any patterns, you know, I think finding patterns is a really helpful way to begin identifying triggers, you know, to these changes that one might be experiencing. You know, noticing are there days that maybe I function better or sleep better, and then days when I'm noticing that maybe I don't have quite as much motivation, you know, kind of tracking changes from day to day to see if. If people are finding any trends in their behaviors or their symptoms or their ability to function.

So I'd say tracking is probably the best way at home to try determine what is contributing to the stress response that is occurring. And often during stress, how we function is kind of on automatic pilot. And that just exacerbates the response that our mind and body are having when we're in a chronic stress state.

So one example is beginning to be very intentional about how we are living each moment, being very present with our mind in each moment to calm the spinning of the mind. So what that would mean then is practicing soothing and regulation skills during, before,
after these stressful seasons so that we can manage stress.
 
You know, I really like to remind everybody I work with, including myself, that what's happening in the body is not problematic. Stress is about our nervous system trying to protect us, trying to help us through what is being perceived or experienced in our body as danger. Right. So no matter what the thing is that our brain is perceiving as a threat, our nervous system is going to react the same kind of way. The pattern of what happens physiologically is the same.

I think people can get really hard on themselves. You know, oh my goodness, I'm the problem. What's wrong with me?

And really, when we recognize what's happening, normalizing it, and then feeling equipped to manage that response in a little different way so that our nervous system isn't being overstimulated.

[17:54] Emmery: What does that look like practically? I mean, what does that practically, look like?

[17:59] Dr. Missling: Mentally, I break it down into non therapy kind of things like what can we do just behaviorally that I could do outside of a therapy space? And then there are obviously tools and skills that you one can learn that are taken from a therapy space.

So breaking it down. So some things that we can do just that help to regulate and manage the nervous system response, Becoming more aware of the triggers that activate this pattern. Decreasing substance use. So if somebody is finding that they are using,
say, alcohol more to cut back on their use, because that has an effect on the nervous system actually, and has it to dysregulate more than. More than regulate. And it actually agitates our nervous system, alcohol does when it exits the nervous system.

Prioritizing activities, kind of breaking them down into manageable bits so that you can focus on the most urgent needs first.

Technology can be a big stressor. So turning off technology or notifications at like designated times, taking a look at really negative or extreme thinking patterns and working to try reframe that or getting perspective from other loved ones so that we can widen, widen the lens of how we're viewing things.

And then a lot of research is showing the benefits of so many day to day things that we're already doing that have a really powerful effect on regulating our stress response. So calming music, you know, soothing music, having anything in our space where we might be experiencing stress, adding elements that are calming. So it might be soothing scents, it might be calming music.

And then I often encourage people to set aside time to intentionally rest your mind, even if it's just two minutes.

[20:03] Emmery: When should somebody look at talking to somebody such as yourself?

[20:07] Dr. Missling: So there isn't a right or a wrong time to seek out behavioral health services. However, there tend to be more common times when people are struggling to function on their own and they may notice increased interpersonal concerns or struggles with functioning or performance. Right. That begins to change and that would be a time when someone would want to consider seeking out behavioral health services.

[20:40] Emmery: I really appreciate you visiting with us today, Amy, and for providing your insights and wisdom from your area of expertise into the agricultural world. And thank you so much for joining us today.

[20:51] Dr. Missling: Thanks so much for inviting me on your show. I had a really nice time chatting with you and appreciate, appreciate the time.

[20:57] Alisha: Thanks Amy.

[21:01] Emmery: You've been listening to Straight Talk with NDFB. To learn more about resources that can help you and your family manage stress on your farm or ranch. Check out our show notes below to contact Alisha and myself. And to learn more about Straight Talk with NDFB, visit us at ndfb.org.